Talking about mom burnout on the blog today.
Hi friends! Hope you have a wonderful morning so far. I’m going to meet a friend for coffee and then work on the Fit Team self-care document for September to send in tomorrow. It’s never too late to join us here!
For today’s post, I wanted to talk a little bit about mom fatigue. While I’m in a positive space with motherhood, there have been times when I’ve felt overwhelmed and exhausted. I wanted to share a little bit about it in this post, along with some of the things I’ve learned, and always love hearing your thoughts and perspectives too. I also realize that as a mother, I know that I am fortunate and privileged in many aspects of life and I am grateful for all of them. There will always be those who have better or worse than you; The best thing you can do is be grateful for the blessings in your life and empathize with those who are going through a difficult time.
What exactly is mom burnout?
I think of it as A state of mental, physical and emotional exhaustion that most mothers are likely to experience at some point in their lives. I’ve learned over time that many factors can contribute to a mother’s fatigue. It can happen when you reach the limit of your ability to care for others, and it can also come from the invisible emotional and mental burden that mothers need. Peer pressure, unrealistic expectations, and social media can all play a role in causing mom fatigue, and I think it’s very important for moms to fill their cups first.
Mom’s exhaustion should not be taken lightly, and if you feel you are struggling, please reach out and get the help you deserve. Please keep in mind that I am not a pro at this, just a mother sharing my story and the things I have learned. You can love your children just like crazy and still suffer from mother exhaustion. This does not mean that you are not a good mother; You just need a little TLC.
How to recover from mom’s fatigue
Take breaks and take time to recharge
This can be very difficult, especially if you have a small baby. Take any opportunity you need to take a break and regain your energy, even if it’s a short nap, a hot shower, or 10 minutes of quietly staring at the wall.
talk about it
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, whether you’re dealing with parental burnout or life stuff, it can be very helpful to talk about it. This can be with a trusted friend, partner, or professional, but it often feels like the burden has been lifted when you can talk about your frustrations. Also, when you say things out loud, it’s easier to come up with an action plan or see the situation objectively without a lot of emotion attached to it.
This can be difficult, especially when you are so dedicated to taking care of others, but I am a firm believer that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Take some time to incorporate self-care practices that you love into your routine, such as your favorite weekly yoga class, a phone call with a friend, a walk or a walk outside, time to read a book, or whatever form of self-care is for you. Nor does it have to be *all things*; It could be one thing you look forward to every week or every day.
Focus on the basics
When you feel overwhelmed, try eliminating unnecessary tasks from your routine. This could be something like getting a flawlessly clean house and cross out all the items on your to-do list. Maintaining the life, happiness, and nourishment of other humans is a huge task, and if you accomplish that (along with feeding yourself), feel proud of yourself. <3
Do something that makes you feel like you are
This could be something like flicking a ukulele, reading a book, a dinner date with your partner, meeting a friend for coffee, or a solo shopping trip. It can be up to 15 minutes during nap time, but try to do something that brings you joy and was a part of your life before childhood that you were missing out on.
Delegate anything you can and don’t be afraid to ask for help
Wherever it makes sense for your family and budget, outsource as many items as possible, especially the tasks you despise. For example, if you love to cook but hate grocery shopping, try grocery delivery. If you hate cooking, try a few pre-made meals each week from a service you love. (Some of my clients discovered that their husbands love to cook, so they took over the meal prep and dinner tasks.) sacrifice other things to divide that into our budget), or any other tasks that add extra pressure. Know what can be deleted, and delegate as much as you can.
Drop the mother’s guilt
I feel like it’s very easy to feel guilty about so many different things, especially when there are so many…emotional messages online. Whether you work from home or in the office, stay at home, have a vaginal birth or caesarean section, breastfeed your baby, practice related parenting, sleep procedures, medical decisions, etc. Opinions on how you choose to raise your children. At the end of the day, you have to trust that you are making the best decision for your family and get rid of your mother’s guilt as much as possible. (This is something I work on myself, and I often feel guilty whenever I have to work or shoot videos and the kids are home.)
Meet a specialist for hormone and nutrient deficiencies
When I struggled with postpartum anxiety and depression, there was a lot going on (a diagnosis of cancer in the family and a baby with severe reflux), but I was also having nutrient deficiencies, sleep deprivation (this makes everything worse), and significant. Hormonal imbalances. Once these things were processed, the dark cloud rose up, and I finally started to feel more like myself.
If you feel comfortable, I think it is absolutely beneficial to talk to your doctor or functional medicine practitioner about creating a plan to help you feel better! I also cannot say enough good things about the treatment. It has helped me in many situations in my life and I am grateful for the kind and experienced therapists out there.
Invest in relationships
Take the time to invest in relationships that are meaningful to you. This is huge for your overall health and mental well-being, especially when you feel overwhelmed or overwhelmed. Connect with your tribe and connect with the ones you love, even if it’s just a quick text to say hello.
Surround yourself with positive and inspiring examples of motherhood
I am so grateful to be surrounded by a group of moms who also love being moms. We can share difficult moments with each other, but we also encourage each other, and their positivity and perspective always brings me a dose of positive energy. They want me to be a better mother and to constantly inspire me.
On the same note:
Watch out for social media. Don’t be afraid to clean up social media or detox.
It took me a while to realize that social media can turn me on in terms of motherhood. When you first got Liv, it was like you weren’t allowed to say anything was hard or tough, or you *bad mom. * (And I’ve been called that many times by strangers on the internet.) Now, on the other hand, if you exude a lot of happiness, you can be accused of “toxic positivity.”
I feel like a lot of the messages about motherhood, trying to be *real* ended up being so negative on different accounts. There was a video of a mother, offering her child a plate of chicken nuggets on which she had written the word “f you” for her child. The baby applauded and ate the nuggets with joy while the mother laughed behind the screen. It just wasn’t *real* for me. She was stiff and cried after watching the video.
I realized that I love the accounts of mothers sharing their fun adventures with their children, and while they totally share snippets of more challenging experiences, on the whole, they enjoy their family members.
You should evaluate what kind of messages you would like to see online, and act accordingly by deleting accounts that make you feel sad, negative, encourage comparison, or are harmful to your mental health. It’s also a good idea to put the phone on airplane mode for a day or so every now and then. 😉
Remember that all stages of motherhood are transient
I used to get used to the routine or habits and then in a couple of weeks, everything will change. Now that kids are older and more independent, I’m constantly aware of how fast time flies. You don’t have to enjoy every moment (especially when you’re sleep-deprived, covered in milk spots, recovering from childbirth), but I think it can be helpful to remember that time passes quickly. Before you know it, you can ask them to do their homework.. and they will do it… themselves. It’s wild, I tell you.
Tell me friends: What maternity accounts do you like to follow online?
Any tips for mom’s exhaustion or exhaustion in general?